What Do You Get the Man Who Buys Himself Everything?
Let's start with a fact: I am an excellent gift-giver. I love the hunt. I keep a running list on my phone of random "ooh, that's cool" things my friends mention. I take pride in finding that perfectly specific, thoughtful, "how-did-you-know-I-wanted-this?" present.
Unless it's for my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is wonderful. He's driven, he's smart, he's kind, and... he's successful. He's one of those people who, if he wants something, he just... gets it. New tech gadget? Pre-ordered. That cool watch? Already on his wrist. A weekend trip? He booked it last month.
Which is fantastic, 99% of the time. I'm so proud of him.
The other 1% of the time is the two-week panic before his birthday.
How do you find a gift for a person who has removed all the friction from their own "want list"?
My search history becomes a digital graveyard of bad ideas.
"Gifts for men who have everything."
"Luxury gifts for boyfriend."
"What does a successful man even want?"
The lists are always the same: A whiskey decanter (he has two), a leather briefcase (he prefers his backpack), a subscription box (he's particular). Everything either felt too impersonal, like I'd just picked the most expensive thing on a list, or too small, like a flimsy afterthought.
I even tried the direct approach. "Hey," I asked casually over dinner last week, "is there anything you've been wanting for your birthday?"
He smiled, not looking up from his plate. "Honestly? I don't need anything. Just want to have a nice dinner with you."
Which is sweet, romantic, and completely unhelpful.
I was stressing out, scrolling through websites until my eyes blurred. I wasn't just trying to buy a thing. I was trying to find a way to show him that I love him, that I see him. And how do you put a price tag on that? How do you find a physical object that says, "I love you more than the high-end headphones you bought yourself last Tuesday"?
I was venting about this to my sister when she cut me off. "Stop trying to buy him something," she said. "He can buy things. What can't he buy?"
I thought about it.
He can't buy our inside jokes.
He can't buy the way his face looked that one time we tried to go kayaking and failed miserably.
He can't buy the specific memory of our first date, or the little note I left on his mirror last month.
He can't buy my time and my perspective.
And that was it. The "aha!" moment.
I stopped looking at stores and started looking through my camera roll. I wasn't going to buy him something; I was going to make him something.
I bought a beautiful, simple, leather-bound scrapbook. And for the next week, I dug through everything. I printed out the blurry photo of us from our first concert. I found the ticket stub. I wrote down, on a nice piece of cardstock, the story of the time he tried to cook for me and set off the smoke alarm. I added a screenshot of our first text exchange. I filled a page with a list of "10 Reasons You're My Favorite Person (That Have Nothing to Do With Your Job)."
I filled that book with all the little, priceless moments that make up us. The silly stuff. The imperfect stuff. The memories that are ours and ours alone.
When his birthday came, he opened it. He has a very good "polite gift face" for the things he doesn't need, but this time... he just got quiet. He slowly turned the pages, a small smile growing on his face. He ran his fingers over a photo of us on the couch, covered in pizza.
He looked up at me, and his eyes were a little shiny.
"This is..." he paused, "this is the best gift I have ever gotten. By a mile."
And I knew I'd finally done it. I'd found the one thing he didn't have, the one thing he could never buy for himself.
It turns out, the best gift for the man who has everything isn't a thing at all. It’s a reminder. It's showing him a version of his life, and your life together, that he can't see anywhere else.