The Book That Almost Was: An Amazon Cart Saga
The faint, pre-dawn light of a Monday morning filtered through my window here in India. It was 5:30 AM, a time when the world feels both asleep and full of potential. For me, that potential usually involves a cup of chai and a quiet scroll through my phone before the day's chaos begins. This morning, my digital wandering led me, as it often does, to the endless digital aisles of Amazon.
I wasn't looking for anything in particular, which is arguably the most dangerous way to browse. And then, I saw it. A book I'd heard whispers about in online forums, praised in reviews, with a cover so intriguing it practically hummed with untold stories. It was a beautiful, thick hardcover edition of a novel I'd been meaning to read for ages.
The "Add to Cart" button was a siren's call. The "Buy Now" button? An act of pure, unadulterated optimism. Yes, I thought, I will make time for this. I will carve out quiet evenings to get lost in these pages. The order was confirmed. A little dopamine hit. My book was on its way.
But then, a funny thing happened in the time it took to get up and put the kettle on. A different thought, a more practical, nagging voice, began to whisper. It reminded me of the teetering stack of unread books already on my nightstand. It pointed out the three other books I had optimistically packed for a weekend trip I took last month, which came back completely untouched.
Suddenly, the joy of the purchase was replaced by a familiar pang of "aspirational guilt." I hadn't bought a book; I'd bought a task. Another item on a to-do list I was already failing to keep up with.
I walked back to my phone, the steam from my chai swirling around me. I navigated to my orders. There it was, my literary impulse buy, "Preparing for dispatch." My finger hovered over the "Cancel items" button. It felt almost too easy, a digital escape hatch from my own fleeting desires. I clicked it. A moment later, a confirmation: "Your order has been cancelled."
It was an oddly anticlimactic end to a brief, emotional shopping journey. There was no drama, no consequence, just a quiet reversal. The book was no longer mine. The money would return to my account. My nightstand stack would remain unstabilized by one more volume.
And yet, I don't feel regret. Just a strange sense of amusement at the little digital dance we do – the browsing, the wanting, the buying, and sometimes, the quiet, guilt-free act of letting go before it even arrives. The book is still out there, waiting. And maybe, one day, when my nightstand is a little less ambitious, I'll click "Buy Now" again. And this time, I'll let it stay.